Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
