Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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