He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's official drugs can't kill me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
