It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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