Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
