Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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