ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
