walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
