Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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