There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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