who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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