D3 body, D1 cock
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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