Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
