Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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