is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
