problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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