God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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