you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
