Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
