By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize