Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
