i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
