Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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