apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
