May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
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For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Alive.
So much puke
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Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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