Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize