Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
