He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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