How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Your penis caused this!
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