I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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