White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
