You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
