She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
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This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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