omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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