I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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