I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
