Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
