why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
