I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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