Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
