In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
