if you like me you must not know who I am
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
