im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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