Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
