It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
