maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
