your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
