For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
