Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
