the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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