i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
