wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
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Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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