This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
