Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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