No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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