Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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