people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
