Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
FUCK WHALES
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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